Real Housewives of Heeia

So, continuing on with the theme of bad television, I'm now hooked on "The Real Housewives of New Jersey". I'll admit that I am a fan of all the Housewives sagas, but I wasn't sure if this particular state was going to hold my interest. To be honest, they weren't, until...THE BOOK.

So basically, the housewife called Danielle gets totally ragged on by the other housewives, and they all talk a bunch of crap about how she's a husband-stealing whore. Then, they discover this book that talks about how she was arrested for kidnapping and drug charges and things of that nature. There's even a mug shot photo of her in the book, but her name is different. The book talks about how she changes her stripper name to "Danielle" and apparently it stuck.

So I, being a total sucker for reality show fodder, google the book--"Cop Without a Badge". It's selling for $189 USED on Amazon!!!! Then, I read the reader comments about the book, and it's all these comments to Danielle's ex (who the book is about or something) about how he's such a liar and how everything he talks about is untrue. They mention all these family names and how this uncle hates him, and how that cousin won't even speak to him etc. But the kicker...they mention that he has the WRONG DATE AND LOCATION of his own father's death! So clearly, the book is not exactly non-fiction.

Long story short, I spent the rest of the day googling these women and reading their Bravo TV blogs, which I've never done before (see previous post about my lack of blogging knowledge) and ridiculous comments from viewers like me. HILARIOUS SHIT!!! I mean, seriously. There's all this commenting about mob ties and how one house husband pays for everything in cash, and how's he getting all this money wink wink. AWESOME. I love it. So I guess I was a little hard on Cesar and the dogs. I mean, he DOES work magic on unruly Fido's, overly aggro Champ's, and ADHD Spot's everywhere. I mean, who can hate a guy that puts a dog on a treadmill?

I've decided that I want to be on a reality TV show. I SO could (I mean, if I was back to high school weight). But I have enough drama! And I'm evil, I talk a lot of shit, and I'm loud. I have all the makings of a great show. So write to Bravo everyone: REAL HOUSEWIVES OF HE'EIA!!!